Friday
The Maine Lobster Claw Game
I know it's been awhile, but I saw this, and well, it exists, and that is all:
Wednesday
Bacon Ipsum
What's cooler than Hipsters these days? Bacon.
So, not to be left behind... Bacon Ipsum.
Your options include "All Meat" or "Meat and Filler".
Here's the test paragraph I generated, with filler:
Bacon ipsum dolor sit amet ullamco leberkäse aute ut, tongue boudin adipisicing officia ground round pastrami. Bacon pariatur frankfurter, voluptate tenderloin fatback sirloin ut capicola sint flank. Bacon esse excepteur consectetur. Dolore nulla pork loin commodo eu duis, strip steak drumstick sint biltong sausage dolore flank. Pork tenderloin swine aliquip strip steak ad pariatur tempor. Bresaola cillum reprehenderit, tail ut nulla ad beef mollit tempor jowl ham elit enim. Duis prosciutto capicola, fugiat aute culpa bacon proident ex tongue short loin sausage.
So, not to be left behind... Bacon Ipsum.
Your options include "All Meat" or "Meat and Filler".
Here's the test paragraph I generated, with filler:
Bacon ipsum dolor sit amet ullamco leberkäse aute ut, tongue boudin adipisicing officia ground round pastrami. Bacon pariatur frankfurter, voluptate tenderloin fatback sirloin ut capicola sint flank. Bacon esse excepteur consectetur. Dolore nulla pork loin commodo eu duis, strip steak drumstick sint biltong sausage dolore flank. Pork tenderloin swine aliquip strip steak ad pariatur tempor. Bresaola cillum reprehenderit, tail ut nulla ad beef mollit tempor jowl ham elit enim. Duis prosciutto capicola, fugiat aute culpa bacon proident ex tongue short loin sausage.
Monday
Hipster Ipsum
Some of you may have never come across the need for Lorem Ipsum.
<Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. It is used as a placeholder to demonstrate the length and formatting of text to come in layouts, etc.>
<Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. It is used as a placeholder to demonstrate the length and formatting of text to come in layouts, etc.>
But, for those of you who have/do use and see it, and who are likely too cool for the traditional Latin filler I now present to you: Hipster Ipsum.
Yes, someone, who is likely living in the Mission and ironically wearing clothing from a company owned by the Gap, Inc corporation without realizing and at Blue Bottle at 3 pm on a weekday, took the time to create a new filler text generator that will speak to the "I'm too cool for tradition" in each of you.
You get to choose how many paragraphs, and whether you want your Ipsum neat, or dirty (with a touch of Latin).
They're so clever, the "enter" button even says, "Beer Me" instead. It should just say, "Pabst Me" because we all know that hipsters love that cheap shit.
I did a test and asked for three paragraphs, neat. Guess what I saw... PBR, American Apparel, trust fund, "you probably haven't heard of them" (multiple times actually), etsy, jean shorts, helvetica (this one actually made me chuckle), vegan, and a bunch of other shit.
I encourage you to try it yourself, because it seems to make fun of hipsters in its own way, intentional or not. Also, a new game: Hipster Ipsum ordered dirty (mixed with Latin) and try to determine which words are Latin and which words are made up by people who are cooler than you.
If you're super cool, or rather "Know about some underground, next level shit" you can submit a word.
Friday
Bulletproof Skin
Leave it to the Dutch to see a comic turned Hollywood movie such as Spiderman or Superman and bring it to reality (yeah, I don't really know what I mean by that either).
Man of steel? More like -- man of silk. If one Dutch researcher has her way -- Superman won’t be the only one reflecting bullets anymore.
Take a pinch of spider silk, add a splash of goat’s milk and you have the basis for project2.6g 329m/s -- named for weight and velocity of a .22 caliber long rifle bullet. This recipe might sound like a fairy tale concoction, but it’s no hocus pocus -- it’s how you make bulletproof skin.
So -- grab a few goats and let’s get started. io9 says,
“...it starts by having to milk spider-goats. Spider goats are otherwise innocent-looking goats that have been genetically engineered to produce milk packed with the protein made in spider’s silk.”
Once the protein is separated from the goat’s milk, it’s spun into fiber and mixed with human skin cells. Geek.com says -- the material you get is tougher than it sounds.
This is the news I was fed today:
Scientists combine spider silk and goat's milk to create bulletproof human skin.
Scientists combine spider silk and goat's milk to create bulletproof human skin.
Seriously? This is a joke. Right?
Then I watched this video:
Which has this transcript:
Man of steel? More like -- man of silk. If one Dutch researcher has her way -- Superman won’t be the only one reflecting bullets anymore.
Take a pinch of spider silk, add a splash of goat’s milk and you have the basis for project2.6g 329m/s -- named for weight and velocity of a .22 caliber long rifle bullet. This recipe might sound like a fairy tale concoction, but it’s no hocus pocus -- it’s how you make bulletproof skin.
So -- grab a few goats and let’s get started. io9 says,
“...it starts by having to milk spider-goats. Spider goats are otherwise innocent-looking goats that have been genetically engineered to produce milk packed with the protein made in spider’s silk.”
Once the protein is separated from the goat’s milk, it’s spun into fiber and mixed with human skin cells. Geek.com says -- the material you get is tougher than it sounds.
Oookay, I get it, this is a joke, totally, nice, makes sense.
Then I see this:
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/08/17/breakthrough-bulletproof-human-skin-made-from-spider-silk/
Yeah yeah, ok, I know, insert jokes about the credibility of Fox News here.
But seriously, they're literally simulating all the scenarios we see in movies where scientist start fucking with the genetics of humans and adding the super powers of animals/insects only to have something go terribly awry and next thing you know, NY is on fire, bridges are closed and there are Special Ops teams deploying in helicopters.
This actually sounds really amazing. I hope they try to start making bulletproof humans sooner than later. Maybe there'd finally be some reality on TV that I'd watch!
Thursday
Better Than Grandma's Knitting
Apparently this is a HUGE seller, despite the price, as the seller has had to put people on a wait list that won't start diminishing until December. There is also mention of a matching hat.
A. Matching. Hat.
God what I wouldn't give to see that, walking down the street, in person.
Sometimes Etsy sellers find a gold mine, this is the ONLY item she has listed.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/79386265/custom-made-to-order-star-wars-r2d2
Wednesday
Monday
Soothing and Relaxing Nose Candy?
I never ever failed to be surprised by the desperate measures people take to get high.
I grew up in Oregon. So you want to smoke pot and chill out? Sure, fine, whatever, I don't care.
Then I heard about "whippits" (getting high off the nitrous oxide found in compressed cans, such as whipped cream cans). I immediately decided anyone who did this was a complete moron. It also sounded like a lot of work, so not much pay off. "Juice" ≥ "The Squeeze" people, remember this concept.
Then along came Meth... some desperate and broke crackhead (b/c meth heads didn't exist yet) decided to turn his trailer into a chem lab by combining all the ingredients in his medicine cabinet and his garage that could be potentially toxic, which was basically just sudafed (for his perpetual "cold" from snorting sh*t up his nose) and gasoline, which he siphoned out of his neighbors riding mower.
Viola. A new (and cheap) way to get high. Sounds amazing. This spread like wildfire across some choice cities in America.
<PSA Break: Please Google Image Search: "The Effects of Meth" now.>
Good god people, did you never look at the person selling you this drug and wonder how they came to look like a leading member of the Living Dead Club? I sincerely hope it has one permanent side effect: sterility.
Then, earlier in the year, we posted about Slimming, the new method to go from sober to imbecile in 60s flat, or something like that.
http://thisexiststhatisall.blogspot.com/2011/03/slimming.html
This is all old news, yes, I know. Not to take away from the ludicrous of people's attempts to escape reality to date, but it seems there is a new "meth" raging through the idiots of America.
Bath Salts.
Yup.
You snort them. I really don't have any words, but here's some more info from one chosen recent article about this phenomenon:
The powders often contain mephedrone and methylenedioxypyrovalerone, also known as MDPV, and can cause hallucinations, paranoia, rapid heart rates and suicidal thoughts, authorities say.
One man, Neil Brown, of Fulton, Miss., got high off the bath salts and then slashed his face and stomach. He survived, but authorities said other people have not been so lucky.
In Brown's case, he said he had tried every drug from heroin to crack and was so shaken by terrifying hallucinations that he wrote one Mississippi paper urging people to stay away from the advertised bath salts.
I grew up in Oregon. So you want to smoke pot and chill out? Sure, fine, whatever, I don't care.
Then I heard about "whippits" (getting high off the nitrous oxide found in compressed cans, such as whipped cream cans). I immediately decided anyone who did this was a complete moron. It also sounded like a lot of work, so not much pay off. "Juice" ≥ "The Squeeze" people, remember this concept.
Then along came Meth... some desperate and broke crackhead (b/c meth heads didn't exist yet) decided to turn his trailer into a chem lab by combining all the ingredients in his medicine cabinet and his garage that could be potentially toxic, which was basically just sudafed (for his perpetual "cold" from snorting sh*t up his nose) and gasoline, which he siphoned out of his neighbors riding mower.
Viola. A new (and cheap) way to get high. Sounds amazing. This spread like wildfire across some choice cities in America.
<PSA Break: Please Google Image Search: "The Effects of Meth" now.>
Good god people, did you never look at the person selling you this drug and wonder how they came to look like a leading member of the Living Dead Club? I sincerely hope it has one permanent side effect: sterility.
Then, earlier in the year, we posted about Slimming, the new method to go from sober to imbecile in 60s flat, or something like that.
http://thisexiststhatisall.blogspot.com/2011/03/slimming.html
This is all old news, yes, I know. Not to take away from the ludicrous of people's attempts to escape reality to date, but it seems there is a new "meth" raging through the idiots of America.
Bath Salts.
Yup.
You snort them. I really don't have any words, but here's some more info from one chosen recent article about this phenomenon:
The powders often contain mephedrone and methylenedioxypyrovalerone, also known as MDPV, and can cause hallucinations, paranoia, rapid heart rates and suicidal thoughts, authorities say.
One man, Neil Brown, of Fulton, Miss., got high off the bath salts and then slashed his face and stomach. He survived, but authorities said other people have not been so lucky.
In Brown's case, he said he had tried every drug from heroin to crack and was so shaken by terrifying hallucinations that he wrote one Mississippi paper urging people to stay away from the advertised bath salts.
"It causes intense cravings for it. They'll binge on it three or four days before they show up in an ER. Even though it's a horrible trip, they want to do it again and again," Ryan said.
This Mr. Brown sounds like a real expert, I'd probably heed his warning if I were an ignorant teen in the mid-west, but since it seems like most are not, and according to Dr. Ryan, they're actually going back for more, despite it's very very high risk of DEATH.
What's my take? Let them snort bath salts. Sounds like a cheap and affective way to weed out the population at $20 a pop.
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