Honey Badger

Yes, this has been ALL around Facebook and YouTube, but is it AWESOME. The Honey Badger really does exist and is seriously a "badass" who "doesn't give a shit".

Red Tent Party Part 2

Not to focus too much on this, but...

http://www.regretsy.com/2011/01/20/at-your-cervix/

"It's a pinata - SHAPED LIKE A UTERUS! It's great for baby showers, or Red Tent parties (daughter's first period) or even hysterectomy parties?"

THAT, my friends, is all.

Regretsy

Regretsy is the best site I have read in a while! It is about all the random crap that people post on Etsy. "Where DIY meets WTF" I am slow to find this as it has been around for a while. But this is worth posting even if there is only one out of our two readers that haven't heard of this site. Our last post is from their site, along with this one.
The 5 Worst Things I’ve Seen on Etsy This Month

Red Tent Party- I refuse to post pictures for this one.

Thanks to the hilarious rants of Regresty, I was regrettably introduced to the concept of a Red Tent Party.
Here's what Urban Dictionary has to say about this (Please note, I'm definitely Bill):

Red Tent Party:
A Red Tent Party (named for the book The Red Tent, which features the Biblical character Dinah) is a party held in honor of a girl's first period. Uterus and period-blood themed food and decorations are appropriate.

Janet: So, my daughter finally got her first visit from Mother Nature last week; now we get to host her Red Tent Party!

Bill: Red Tent Party? What the hell, Janet, that's disgusting, you're one of those ultrafeminist nazi-types, aren't you?

But I think the diatribe from Regresty is much more appropriate, and again, it's hilarious:

http://www.regretsy.com/2011/03/25/red-tent-event/

Then I stumbled upon this: Ideas for a Red Tent Party

1. Create a setting: red and pink tablecloths, candles, lights, a circlular and comfortable seating arrangement, ask guests to dress according to your theme (bible or otherwise).

2. Share stories about the girl/woman being celebrated, or your own stories (your first menstruation, your induction into the army, your fears at engagement). Remember she needs to hear not only your positive glorious stories, but also stories about your difficultues as a child and woman.

3. Teach the Basal thermometer method for a woman to know when she is ovulating, or teach good cramp exercises.

4. Massage each other with soothing meditation music in the background.

5. Play some silly games.

6. Share some interesting facts with your guests.

7. Belly-dance! Dress up with scarves and beads and invite an experienced belly-dancer to give instructions and bring good music. See some of our pictures!

My thoughts:

1. I'm pretty sure there is only one theme for these parties: Embarrassment.

2. Let's paint this picture a little better: You are a teen girl. You've just gotten your first period, which may or may not be an awkward/confusing/uncomfortable/exciting/embarrassing/lackluster moment in your life. Your mom has now invited over all the females in your life so she can make a fuss about it and share stories about your ongoing transition into womanhood, AND stories about her first menstruation.

I'm certain with every ounce of my being that I have never regretted not hearing that story from my mom. And what's this about an "army"?

army |ˈärmē| 

noun ( pl. -mies) 

an organized military force equipped for fighting on land

I'm pretty sure bootcamp is a little more involved than simply ovulating for the first time. Who is this army fighting? Hemophobist?

3. Good cramp exercises? Maybe this is part of basic training for their army.

4. No thanks. REALLY no thank you.

5. I am afraid to click that link.

6. See #5.

7. Too obvious. Too expected. Too completely over the top out of control cliched. I know I was a late bloomer and all, but there's no way I'd be caught dead belly dancing with my mom/friends to celebrate my first period at age 15, or 14, or 13, or 12, or or or.

It's not quite Furries

Maybe it's Slipperies?

Aqua Tails sells mermaid tails for humans to swim around in, and to pose a la Arial on beaches and rocks and what not, only it's really really creepy.

http://aquatails.com/

The simplest and cheapest "monofins" start at $159.99.
"For the serious mermaider" they have "realistic" tails for $599.99.

I'm confused over the use of the word "realistic" here.
realistic |ˌrēəˈlistik|
adjective
representing familiar things in a way that is accurate or true to life : a realistic human drama.

Does this mean mermaids are actually real?
Don't forget to complete your look with something from their "Sea Form & Jewels" section.

And then there's the very perplexing existence of this:

http://www.dailydealster.com/

I can't imagine why they'd ever be on sale. Where's the Groupon for this? I'm gonna hurry and get mine before the 2 day discount expires.

its BACON

I don't eat Bacon. I don't eat swine. To quote a great movie (yes, I quote movies):

"Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals."

I do happen to live pigs, I just don't eat them. Despite that, my friends have sufficiently exposed me to the love affair many engage in with Bacon.

So here is some RIDICULOUS Bacon paraphernalia that actually exists out there, and I just don't understand...

The Bacon Lamp, for a warm meaty glow:



http://www.etsy.com/listing/52957774/love-me-some-bacon-lamp?ref=sc_3

Bacon Flavored Envelopes. Not recommended for dog owners, unless you WANT your dog to eat your mail.

http://mmmvelopes.com/


Bacon Bandages, Bacon Mints, Bacon Air Freshener, Bacon Lip Gloss, Bacon Toothpaste, Bacon Floss, Bacon Lollipop, Bacon Gum, Bacon Toothpicks... and that's just some of the edibles, there are wearables as well.

Bacon BS

For the real bacon die hards, you can stay abreast of all things bacon on a daily basis with the iBacon App, and get updates like Bakon Booze and Bacon cologne.

http://g-monkeyproductions.com/iBacon.html

None of this has made me want to eat bacon.

Whips and Chains and Finger Puppets excite me...

Yes, That finger puppet is peeing on it's counterpart. Not joking.
That's really all I have to say about these.

Oh, but you can get the entire set for $10.
Purchasing and more photos here:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/73154681/mature-content-dirty-finger-puppets-gift

Toto

Toto is not a dog. I'm sure you thought it was at first glace though.
Toto is a toilet. A very smart toilet.
Toto checks your health, much like a Physician's Assistant, in your bathroom.

Deemed the "Intelligence Toilet" system, Toto analyzes your urine, taken straight from the bowl, then you take your blood pressure with a nearby monitor (suggest doing this AFTER you're done on the pot), then you weigh yourself on "a set of scales" in front of your sink, and measure your BMI (body mass index), AFTER you wash your hands of course.

This data all gets compiled onto a spreadsheet and transferred to your home network, which you can then email to your doctor, without ever having to bend forward, turn your head, or coughing.

http://www.newlaunches.com/archives/intelligence_toilet_ii_analyzes_urine_for_diagnostics.php

http://articles.cnn.com/2005-06-28/tech/spark.toilet_1_toilet-toto-bathroom?_s=PM:TECH


Of course this toilet is from Japan. Those Japanese, they make so many terribly awesome-bizarre-ridiculous-ingenious-worthless things. But this isn't the End All Be All of toilet technology. There are so many "high tech" toilets that I couldn't even begin to sort through a list of them to post, but for those who have a few extra thousand dollars laying around to spend on a new porcelain throne, this is a good place to start:

http://www.damninteresting.com/modern-movements-in-toilet-technology

SEAL dog

I'm on a dog kick, I know, but with the number of dog related things friends/family send me, it's a wonder this site doesn't have a weekly dog post.

It's been brought to my attention that the recent mission on Osama Bin Laden was aided by a dog. A SEAL dog, as in Navy SEALs. The dog's identity, like the other members of the team, has been kept anonymous, but he's out there, somewhere...

Here's some highlights and articles from info about these SEAL dogs:

Many SEAL dogs come equipped with "titanium fangs capable of ripping through enemy protective armor," at a cost of "about $2,000 a tooth."

Military K-9s have even been known to be outfitted in camouflaged bulletproof armor and given high-tech, infrared nightsight cameras complete with camera systems. (These gadgets cost about 20 grand each.)

A bulletproof titanium fanged super sensing soldier? He has four legs, but he exists.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/05/belgian-malinois-dog-osama-bin-laden_n_858050.html

http://petsadviser.com/service-animal/bin-laden-dog-navy-seals-k9/

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2011/05/04/war_dog?page=0,0

Hot Dogs

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm obsessed with dogs. So my friends commonly send me dog related things. Here are a few of my recent favorites, on opposite ends of the "online video" spectrum...

Fire at your fingertips

Ok, maybe not fingertips, but wrists:
Lighter Cufflinks. Limited Edition of course.

"Includes two silver lighter cufflinks that actually produce a flame when lighter fluid is added. Yes, this is happening."

Their description is comical in it's own right. They know how ridiculous this is, and they love it.

"Your cufflinks: more than adequate for fastening shirtsleeves.
Not as useful when you need a light.

Which brings us to these miniature lighter cufflinks, the ideal combination of a simple, elegant garment accessory and an open flame.

They’re silver, they work with a Charvet, and they actually function as fluid-operated cigarette lighters. The idea is simple: put on shirt, fasten links and make the acquaintance of the woman with the pack of Dunhills and an expectant look on her face. Remove links and offer up a light.

Then wait for sparks to fly."

http://perks.urbandaddy.com/national/lighter-cufflinks.html

http://www.yougneek.com/shop/