Modern Toilet Restaurant

This solidifies the notion that Asians like weird shit (literally I guess). I can say that because I am Asian. Modern Toilet Restaurant is a chain restaurant (we'll get to the "chain" part in a second) where you sit on toilets while you enjoy your food out of mini toilets, urinals, or squatters and consume things like clear yellow soup and brown ice cream. That is just weird. So of course it caught on and has become a successful Taiwan chain of over 12 restaurants.??!!!

Pushing Personal Limits

This guy ran home after his race. No big deal right? 

Only, he ran home after completing his FIRST marathon in only 3 hours and 45 minutes.

Oh, and his home was 99 miles away!

He ran 125 miles in 29 hours, that's approx a 13 min/mile pace.

Why?

To raise money for the UK Epilepsy Society, as he's suffered from the condition since he was a teen. How much did he raise? $5,000.

That's it?!?

Would any of you run 125 miles for $5,000? How about if you didn't even keep the money?

He exists, and he's awesome.

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/Man-runs-99-miles-home-after-completing-London-M?urn=oly-wp125

Booty Bras

I really really wish this were a joke.
It is not.
Booty Bras. Bum Lifters. Padded Panties. Butt and Hip Pads.
This exploration went from funny to disturbing real quick. And that was before I saw the "For The Men" section.

I tried really hard to post one of the men's shapewear images, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. They were all too disturbing. If you're cursed with morbid curiosity, you can browse for yourself here:

http://www.lovemybubbles.com/land-mens-shapewear.shtml

I'm concerned with our society. What are we doing that wearing full blown body metamorphosing undergarments is seemingly a growing trend. Guys, what on earth would you do if you went home with your girl only to unwrap a complex system of lifters and shapers and pads and god knows what else. Maybe it's the hippy in me, but I think fake hair, eyelashes, and nails are bad enough, now we have to contort our bodies with fake curves from head to toe as well?

While I know push up and padded bras have been around for decades, I'll say this: you can't change the shape/size of your breasts through eating healthy or working out. So for those who are not willing to undergo the knife to alter their natural breast size, a bra can enhance what they were born with(out).

For those who want to change their ass size/shape, or hips, or waist, or god knows what else they make these torture garments for: do a god damn squat, or lunge, or run, or jump, or plank, or bridge, or any form of exercise. Because looking good in clothing will only take you so far...

Gawk at our deranged world here:
http://www.lovemybubbles.com/shopBB.shtml

Oh, also, "love my bubbles"? PLEASE. If any of these people really loved their "bubbles" or bodies, they would not be shopping on this site.

Sex with your iPhone...

Cleverly named with its double entendre (more apt than Cupidtino at least) and a pretty good solution/alternative to carrying one in your pocket/wallet (heat and friction are bad, thank you eighth grade sex-ed).

This iPhone case doubles as a stash spot for your nightly protection.

"It’s [an] ultra-slim leather textured case with a hidden compartment for a condom."

Posh. Practical. It's protects your beloved phone, and your beloved, ahem, other parts as well.

Get one and then jump on Cupidtino to find other Apple devotees to test/show off to.

http://www.yankodesign.com/2011/04/15/iphone-case-fight-for-safe-sex/

Dog Bone(r) Paper Clips

Dog Bone Paper Clips.

Cute. Cutesy. Kitschy. Hilarious?

Yes. Hilarious.

At first glace they seem innocent enough, but once put to use they are so so much more brilliant. This is perhaps the best prank anyone has ever been so clever to invent, and I can only hope it was on purpose.

To buy some for your friends, family, and colleagues, click below:

http://catchingfireflies.com/products/dog-bone-paperclips.html

http://www.borders.com/online/store/TitleDetail?sku=871097009654

The fact that borders is selling them just seems like an added bonus.

Hella Hotels and B&Bs

Hella, Iceland. It exists.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hella,_Iceland

I got an email with the tag line:

Read Hella reviews for Hotels and B&Bs.

Oh the fun I'd have if I worked for the tourism board.
I might even have Hella Fun doing it.

Ok, I know, that was bad.

Unicorns and Double Rainbows. For Sale.

I don't pay close attention to my junk email account, but every so often I go in there to weed through the things that need to be filed and the things that can be trashed. I was torn as to what I should do with this next one...

Unicorns and double rainbows with stars at sunset. On the beach.

Ok clever marketing execs, it worked, I'm intrigued.

I googled "Con Nuri Eleganza" to try to decipher where it is, but the only result that came up was for the very ad I was sent.

http://www.sniqueaway.com/con-nuri/

"Complimentary unicorn rentals complement hourly double rainbows"

First thought: Double Rainbows! But what does it mean?

Second thought: Since unicorns aren't real, this is clearly a joke. I search for more evidence and find:

Pack your bags now if you love…
Things that are shiny.

SOME REMINDERS
The elevator bears are not tame; be sure to heed the signs.

Ahh-menities
Dante's Inferno 24-hour exercise facility, complete with steam room
Gold, lots and lots of gold
Complimentary unicorn rentals
Jousting lessons
Evening s'mores by dragon firelight
Monkey butlers

Policies
Offer includes the All Inclusive Plan: All meals, beverages, compliments from attractive staff members, flip-flops for use on the pool deck, flip-flops to get to the flip-flops on the pool deck, nonaquatic watersports and shuttle service are included.
Rates quoted are for up to 2 people. Additional guests are welcome to sleep in the hall.
Attire at the property is business casual in the pool area. Tattoos must be visible at all times in each dining establishment.
Smoking is only permitted for guests who are on fire. A dousing fee may apply.
Reservations are highly recommended for things you actually want to do.

I do happen to love unicorns, shiny things, s'mores and flip-flops, so I opted to save it.

Turns out it was sent on April 1st (I went back and checked the date). It would likely be the coolest place ever, if it existed. Or does it?

Mexican Jumping Beans

Ok, he's Polish.
And he's actually tumbling, not so much jumping.
Regardless, it's amazing.
Out there, somewhere, is a floor that can enable me to do quadruple back flips. Well, not me, him.
I really want to go play on that floor. I wonder how badly I'd injure myself.

Team Ghost Riders

Team Ghost Riders.
It SOUNDS like some ridiculous rap group. It SOUNDS like a terrible western movie.

Want to know what it doesn't sound like?
It doesn't sound like monkeys riding border collies herding big horned sheep.

But it is. It absolutely is.

Honestly, I think I'm gonna start saving today so I can hire this guy for my next birthday.

It's monkeys, dressed as cowboys, riding dogs, herding animals at least ten times their size, with horns. I'm sorry, I just can't get over that this exists.

The website for Team Ghost Riders is:

http://teamghostriders.com/index.html

When you load it, the center star says: COMEDY! and then shows a picture that apparently represents comedy. I mean, really, the whole existence is comedy, but whatever. Then it reads: ACTION! and shows a picture that is definitely not "action". Then it reads: FUN! and shows the image seen in the above screen capture. Unless that is Santa working his summer job, that belly is not fun. Running out of descriptive words it then says: MORE ACTION!

Someone is making a very good living doing this. I am going to quit my job tomorrow.

Death Neck(lace)

I remember when I first saw the "lucky rabbits foot" trend take off in my youth. Even then I wondered, "Are those real?!" For some reason I just couldn't get behind the idea of rubbing the chopped off appendage of a dead bunny, or worse yet, some poor now three-footed rabbit half-hopping along out there (and predictably named "Tripod" or "Lucky" ha, ok, that last one is a bit ironic). I believe I was told they were not real. I'm gonna refrain from googling that to see if it's true or not.

Well, here's the updated version:

The chopped off appendage of a dead wildcat. Guaranteed real. To wear around your neck.



"Real wildcat paw strung on a choker length strand of chrome ballchain (16") The paw measures 2" in length and the fur has been neatly sewn closed on the top where it connects to the chain (not just lopped off, so no exposed bone or tissue). It has been prepared with modern taxidermy chemicals and will remain preserved indefinitely if cared for properly."

Thank god she clarified that it's "not just lopped off" with bone and tissue exposed. TO WEAR AROUND YOUR NECK.

Also, maybe it's the organic Oregon hippy in me, but any "modern taxidermy chemicals" that can prevent animal flesh from rotting or decaying "indefinitely" don't seem like things I want rubbing on my skin, or Around. My. Neck.

And just in case I wasn't scared enough from all that, she throws this little tidbit in:

"I have been creating shrines, fetishes, and totems from animal remains for over 20 years."

I bet you have.

The science nerd in me would like to point out that humans are technically classified in the animal kingdom. Just saying. She exists, and so do her creepy dead feet necklaces.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/59129405/black-wild-cat-paw-talisman-real-animal

Quick Draw McDrunk

The Beer Holster.

One part ridiculous. One part ridiculously awesome.

"Made of rugged leather, it snaps onto any standard belt and the adjustable nylon strap wraps around the thigh for additional support. A fun accessory for parties and tailgates, it also makes a convenient holder when he needs his hands free for grill duty."

They really had me with the "rugged leather" bit, but then they totally negated that with the "fun accessory" part.

It does look perfect for a game of washers (or bocce, or cornhole, or horseshoes). Just add friends and sunshine.

http://gifts.redenvelope.com/gifts/beer-holster-30002961?viewpos=2&trackingpgroup=rfmfv&Ref=HomeNoRef

The Governator... just won't leave.

This is a real cartoon that is being made. I kept trying to ignore it, in hopes it would go away, but alas, it seems that comic book legend Stan Lee is absolutely determined to ruin his reputation and all he's worked to build up to this point.

After reassuring the crowd at the Cannes Film Festival that is was indeed NOT an April Fool's joke, The Governator went on to say this:

"First will come comic books, then a TV series and after that we will develop the (video) games and then a movie. Maybe then we'll be back in Cannes for that."

Doubtful.

Down in Mississippi, Up to No Good

"We asked voters on this poll whether they think interracial marriage should be legal or illegal- 46% of Mississippi Republicans said it should be illegal..."

This was posted today. TODAY. This is CURRENT news. 46%. Forty-Six Percent.

Honestly, I'm shocked, but not for the reason you probably think. I'm shocked because I didn't even think interracial marriage was an issue we were discussing. I kinda thought that debate option had been taken off the table years ago. I mean, how did they even think to ask that question? My west coast naivety had me thinking that Gay Marriage was the issue. How ignorant/progressive of me.

Those people exist. Scary.

http://publicpolicypolling.blogspot.com/2011/04/barbour-bryant-lead-in-mississippi.html

I Heart AppleMatch.com

http://cupidtino.com/

This is scary. Like really really scary. And I like Apple. I love Macs. However, I do not need to add which platform he prefers to my "datable check list", unless we're talking about politics.

http://techcrunch.com/2010/05/04/oh-god-no-a-dating-site-for-apple-fans/

Convenient Salvation...

"Whether in a church with 30 people or in a stadium with 30,000, we are never more in touch with our Lord than when we celebrate Holy Communion. It is a practice too profound to alter. Too precious to change."

AND YET... they are selling this:

http://www.booksofthebible.com/p70.html

For the low price of $24.95 you get 100 prepackaged servings of Holy Communion.

Maybe it's just me, but... it loses a bit of it's sacredness when it's delivered in this nice little disposable (because we don't have enough excessive packaging/garbage on this planet as it is) all-in-one-on-the-go "Celebration Cup".

Perhaps soon they'll be available in vending machines, which we can then place in bars, right next to the condom dispensers.

I wonder what they'd charge for a single serving of salvation to go?

Baby Toupee

A picture is worth a thousand words.....

I don't know what is worse, the word toupee associated with babies, or these pictures.

If you haven't had enough with this picture, you can visit their website:

http://www.babytoupee.com/

Hawaii Chair while you answer phones...?

The Hawaii Chair... The Original Hula Chair... I don't really care what you call it. It holds up to 300 lbs. It costs nearly $300. It "takes the work out of my workout". It's ridiculous.

"If you can sit, you can get fit."
If you buy this, you deserve what you get.


http://www.ib3health.com/products/BodySlimMassager/HulaChair.shtml

The Youth of America (on top of Everest)

A 13 yr old (Jordan Romero) reached the top of Mt Everest in 2010. This left him with one mountain left to have conquered the highest peaks on all seven continents. He's the youngest to do this (any and all of it).
He exists. He is awesome.
This is also a bit concerning as to what might happen in the future. How young is too young?


http://www.jordanromero.com/


http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/05/22/world/main6508878.shtml

Boarmate, by DuPont

Boarmate® is an aerosol spray containing synthetically produced 'boar odour' (5[alpha]-androst-16-en-3-one).

Boarmate® is very cost effective. If one application in 100 prevents a missed or wasted service then Boarmate® has paid for itself.
ONE MISSED HEAT costs at least 21 days extra feed and lost production.

God forbid we feed our livestock for any more days than we have to!

http://www2.dupont.com/DAHS_EMEA/en_GB/products/spec_prod/boarmate.html

iDump4u

This goes along with my manthefup.com rant on life...

http://idump4u.com/

Don't worry, it's not another twogirlsonecup scenario.
"iDUMP4U takes the messiness out of any breakup."

I'm not sure how hiring a company from the internet to dump your significant other for you REMOVES messiness from the equation, but with prices starting as cheap as $10 for a "Basic Breakup" I'm sure many of the world's idiots will be willing to find out.

What goes beyond the basic?
$25 For an Engagement Breakup
$50 for a Divorce Call

Seriously people?!

Oh, and get this, they record the phone call for you, so you can hear how it all went down. AND THEN, they post it on YouTube.

This Kid Exists

Birke is 11.
Birke is AWESOME.
I <3 this kid so hard.

http://www.ted.com/talks/birke_baehr_what_s_wrong_with_our_food_system.html

Snazzy Napper

Alright, the Snuggie was one thing. But what is this ridiculousness? This is not an April Fools joke, this thing is for real. The nose hole is where I draw the line.

perPETuate

"There is almost no fee that would be too much to ensure the possibiity of replacing your beloved pet with a twin sometime in the future."

Luckily they said ALMOST... because there is a fee that would be too much, $1200 (for the first year). Oh, and by "twin" they mean clone.

http://www.perpetuate.net/


PERPETUATE accepts checks, credit cards, money orders, international bank drafts, and wire transfers.
And first born children, kidneys and other black market organs, sperm, slave labor, an arm or a leg, and illegal drugs as forms of payment.